Some Contemporary Latin

My good buddy, Arr-Dub, told me about this Op-Ed that recently appeared in the New York Times.

The beginning part, "Are We Rome?" is pretty silly, overblown, and overly simplistic. And is unfair to both us and the Romans. We might have a Senate; we might claim that our country is a "Republic." We might have fancy Latin mottoes on all sorts of official things, but I'd like to think that overall the modern US is a better place to live than ancient Rome, since we've abolished things like slavery and crucifixion and allow women to participate in public and professional life. Besides, anyone who quotes Seneca at length - one of the driest writers in all of western history - is stretching hard for something to say.

But the second part of the article is great, although the content is a bland (but warranted, in my opinion) attack on the recent mudslinging conducted by the McCain-Palin campaign against Obama.

Oh yeah, it's great because it's written in Latin.

For you non-Latinists out there, I only have one thing to say.

Learn Latin.

Just kidding. Here are some of the funnier parts. I'm not one to pile on poor Sarah Palin. She's too easy of a target. It's like making fun of a two year-old for having poor motor skills. Still, she's taking quite a beating in the media but this article still cracked me up. So far, my favorite expressions are:

1. Describing Sarah Palin as "barracuda borealis" (barracuda of the north)

2. Cum Primus Dudus, spousus Palinanus, culpari attemptaret “Centurionem-Gate,” judices Terrae Santae Elvorumque castigat gubernatricem Palinam de abusu auctoritatis per familiam revengendum.

"When the First Dude tried to have the spouse formerly of the Palin family found guilty in "Centurion-Gate," judges from the Land of Santa and Elves censured Governor Palin for the abuse of authority to avenge her family."


3. Gubernatrix (prope Russia) Palina, spectans candidaciam MMXII, post multam educationem cum Kissingro et post multam parodiam de Sabbatis Nocte Vivo atque de Tina Feia, ferociter vituperat Obamam, ut supralupocidit (aerial shooting of wolves) in Hyperborea.

"Gubernatrix (close to Russia) Palin, considering a candidacy in 2012, after much education - like Kissinger - and and after many parodies from Saturday Night Live and from Tina Fey, ferociously disparaged Obama as if she were shooting wolves from the sky in Hyperborea [mythical land of the north]."

4. Vilmingtoni, in Ohionem, McCain’s Mean Girl (Ferox Puella) defendit se gladiatricem politicam esse: “Pauci dicant, O Jupiter, te negativam esse. Non, negativa non sum, sed verissima.”

At Wilmington, in Ohio, McCain's Mean Girl defended her actions as a political gladiator: "A few are saying, O God, you are being negative. No, I'm not being negative, but truthful."

5. Talk about lipsticka in porcam!